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Saturday, October 28, 2006


A Little More Musical Humor For Your Edification: Grand Funk Railroad Reimagined for Smirky Boy

Here's my version of a Grand Funk Railroad standard (the tune for which can be found here) from the Arena Rock days of the early 1970s, when bands filled entire stadiums with tens of thousands of screaming fans and went off on long musical excursions to weird places. It's my take on Smirky Boy's current predicament as he and his party find themselves adrift on a sea of voter anger, mired in scandal, corruption, malaise, and with a dispirited, disaffected base:

I'm the Decider/Headed for Meltdown

Everybody, listen up now
And come back, my sheeple
I'm the Decider, I'm the Decider
Though I'm feeling might lost

I've been stuck now, weeks uncounted
And it's been months of mindless spin
Can you hear me, can you hear me?
Or am I all alone?

If you return to the fold, my sheeple
You can kiss your ass goodbye
Take me back now, take me back now
To the ranch up in the sky

Am I in my office dreaming,
Or are you really scheming
To take my toys away from me?

You'd better think about it,
I just can't live without them
So please don't take my toys from me
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I can feel the hand of Uncle Karl
And it's dragging me down into the night
Laura help me, Laura help me
Get this turdblossom from my sight

I'm your leader, I'm your leader
Although I'm feeling mighty weak
Everybody listen to me
And return now to the fold

I'm The Decider, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm The Decider, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm The Decider, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm The Decider, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
Ohhhh …

We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …

(Repeat until Smirky Boy fades into well-deserved obscurity)

Friday, October 06, 2006


A Milestone We Perhaps Should Not Be Proud Of: 300 Million Americans

Our country is about to hit a milestone in the next two or three weeks or so, one which we perhaps should not be proud of.

In less than a month, the 300 millionth American will enter the world.

Think about that for a moment. There will soon be 300 million people in this country. When this country got started 230 and some odd years back, our population then was almost 4 million people.

Our population now is almost 100 times that number of Americans counted in the first census.

We are the third most populous country in the world, behind China and India and then followed closely behind by Indonesia.

There are too many people in this country, in my opinion. There is no way you can effectively and efficiently govern a country of 300 million people.

This is part of the problem of trying to maintain our vast economic empire. It's too big for its own good and in the end, it will be our undoing unless we can divest ourselves of it and step down out of the catbird seat.

We shouldn't have been there in the first place anyway. It's time to step aside.

Sunday, October 01, 2006


FoleyGate: The Karma Fairy Giveth, and the Karma Fairy Taketh Away

This is a gift. Our old friend the Karma Fairy has come along and ripped away the nice, neat facade the Republicans have manufactured to cover the real face of their party and exposed the steaming, malodorous pile of horse manure underneath the mask.

Here we have a guy (Mark Foley) who regularly trolled the internet, looking for teenaged boys to be his next victims. And the "leadership" of the House did nothing to stop him or alleviate the situation by asking him to resign. They knew about this for more than a year and they did nothing.

This man is a serial pedophile who may have hurt, mentally and emotionally, many young men who put their trust in him. The Republicans can't blame this on the Clenis. Bill Clinton had nothing to do with this nor was any Democratic office-holder involved.

They own this scandal lock, stock, and barrel. All we have to do a mere month out from the election is remind people of who they're supporting when they support Republicans.

These people are hypocrites who have shown time and again that they can't be trusted with power. It's long past time to kick them out of the halls of power and send them to the curb to be thrown out with the other garbage of history into that famous dustbin of history.

When they tell voters that they are "Keeping Us Safe From The Terrorists" we just have to come back with "And you are you doing about pedophiles.

It's time we take back our government from these fools.

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