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Saturday, October 28, 2006

 

A Little More Musical Humor For Your Edification: Grand Funk Railroad Reimagined for Smirky Boy

Here's my version of a Grand Funk Railroad standard (the tune for which can be found here) from the Arena Rock days of the early 1970s, when bands filled entire stadiums with tens of thousands of screaming fans and went off on long musical excursions to weird places. It's my take on Smirky Boy's current predicament as he and his party find themselves adrift on a sea of voter anger, mired in scandal, corruption, malaise, and with a dispirited, disaffected base:

I'm the Decider/Headed for Meltdown

Everybody, listen up now
And come back, my sheeple
I'm the Decider, I'm the Decider
Though I'm feeling might lost

I've been stuck now, weeks uncounted
And it's been months of mindless spin
Can you hear me, can you hear me?
Or am I all alone?

If you return to the fold, my sheeple
You can kiss your ass goodbye
Take me back now, take me back now
To the ranch up in the sky

Am I in my office dreaming,
Or are you really scheming
To take my toys away from me?

You'd better think about it,
I just can't live without them
So please don't take my toys from me
Yeah, yeah, yeah

I can feel the hand of Uncle Karl
And it's dragging me down into the night
Laura help me, Laura help me
Get this turdblossom from my sight

I'm your leader, I'm your leader
Although I'm feeling mighty weak
Everybody listen to me
And return now to the fold

I'm The Decider, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm The Decider, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm The Decider, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
I'm The Decider, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah

We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
Ohhhh …

We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …
We're headed closer to meltdown …

(Repeat until Smirky Boy fades into well-deserved obscurity)

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